.me & my world.

Senin, 16 April 2012Y

true love

i just saw my old photos in facebook (my 18th bday celebration in an orphanage), and suddenly i miss my baby so much. i remembered the first time we met, bbm, the first call, and everything suddenly pop up in my mind. i'm missing him so much. its been almost 2 years and there's a lot of things that has changed since then. after a year having an long distance relationship i broke up with him, i tried to find someone who can replaced him and he did too. but i think the love we have is just stronger than that. i'm so grateful that finally after almost a half year we broke up we get back again. i dont know how can this happen, we never plan this. i guess this saying is true, "if you love someone let him go, if he comes back than he's meant to be yours." i believe that everything happen for a reason, and this time the reason is to prove that distance cant separate us and that our love is stronger than anything :) and it also assured me that he's the answer of my prayers, that he's the one for me.. (i hope)

i love you there!

♥

Label: love

ends at 10.55

Senin, 07 November 2011Y

about my heart

maybe its true when ppl say that when u love someone, all that matter is their happiness, not yours. yes exactly this is about HIM. sometimes it hurts when i see him happy, enjoying life without me, it hurts knowing he doesnt need me anymore, he doesnt miss me like i did, it hurts. everything hurts.

but there is one thing that hurts more than anything is when i see him sad, tired with his life. seeing him down breaks my heart. i dont know how but i can feel his loneliness or whatever he is going through right now. and i just can do nothing. oh how i wish i could cheer him up :(

anyway, seeing him happy sometimes makes me hurt but seeing him sad makes my heart hurt even more. i really wish him happy with or without me.

God, please take care of him.

I'm begging you :'(

Label: love

ends at 09.27

Minggu, 01 Mei 2011Y

falling in love

there's something special on this first may..

it's like i'm falling in love all over again with my bf. lol.

wierd yeah, love is weird!!

i skyped with him just now and after chit chat-ing we prayed together. lately, we were too busy or just too sleepy to pray together, or we just prayed a simple prayer before bed but this night we really had our prayer time. and i just love the way we did this. it reminds me that the power of our love, the source of our love is in Jesus Christ. He is the one who brought us together, and He's the one that made us fall for each other. and we shall give up everything to Him.

i hope we can do this again every night just like old times.

i love You, daddy J.

and i love you, benzie.

♥ ♥ ♥

Label: love

ends at 10.08

Jumat, 29 April 2011Y

9 months already

see the title!!

whoa! i'm also surprised. its been 9 months already! till now i'm still not saying that long distance relationship is easy. there are times when we feel so sick of being alone on saturday night, we missed each other so bad that i can even cry, sometimes we just too busy to skype or chat. you know what, sometimes just being there with the one you love means a lot even no words spoken. and we just cant be like that. yea distance sucks!

well i never told him that i was tired being apart from him, i never told him what i feel, i was too afraid if i tell him he'll change or what. but last saturday we've talked about this. about what we feel, about our future, anything about our relationship. and.. i think after months we've been together we're not that open to each other. i love our talk last saturday bcs it makes me feel like we're not just a couple but also a bestfriend! its nice to have boyfriend that also can be your best friend :)

anyway, after that talk i realize that the problem we have is loneliness. and i'm glad that we decide to fight for it! yeah LOVE IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR! :) i dont know whether we can survive or not but one thing i know that God cares about our future, including our love story. i believe that if he's the one for me, things will simply go smooth between us.

I LOVE YOU BABY!

HAPPY 9 MONTHS!

Label: love

ends at 10.07

Kamis, 13 Januari 2011Y

steff and benz

tomorrow is the 24th week we've been together.

WHOA!

can't believe that time passes this fast.

at first i think distance is a big matter

but then i realized its not that big.

its true that we cant spend more time together.

its true that we cant date every weekends.

its true that indo's internet is suck and that makes skype doesnt work well.

but, beyond those things..

our love's growing.

our trust is built.

and the most important thing is.

we rely on GOD more 0:)

happy 24 weeks (not yet 6mths)!!

i love you babyyyy ♥ ♥ ♥

(and sorry for uploading this pict LOL)

Label: love

ends at 02.21

Senin, 13 Desember 2010Y

i miss my bf :(

i miss YOU so much!

well 2 weeks is definitely not enough, but.. he told me to be grateful. hmm, yeaahh i really thank GOD that he could spend 2 weeks here in Surabaya. tiap hari ketemu n nemenin aku ke mana2 bahkan sampek malem2 di rumahku nemenin bikin tugas. dicokotin nyamuk, kepanasan, bosen2 nonton 3 films in a row. nganter jemput aku ke mana2. jalan2 ke mall, bingung2 di jalan ga ada tujuan,whoa! i really miss those moments meskipun baru kayak minggu lalu gt hehe..

i really wishh he could stay here for his whole hols :( or i could spend my hols in perth, but i know things cant always work the way we want. skarang waktunya jauuhh. huhu. susah juga sih kalo jauh kalo kangen itu kaya gimanaaa gituu mau ketemu jg ga bisa. tapi ya udah lah.. kemaren aku denger org ngomong yang kata2nya masi stuck di kepalaku.

to love someone is:

1. decision, its us who decide to love or not. and yes baby i decide to love you :p

2. commitment. once we decide smth, we hv to commit with what we've decide (faithful).

and if we're facing problems, we've to find a way to solve all of those. and never say quit!

i'll keep those words on my mind, alwayyss..

i love you so muchh babe!!

cute huh? ;p

Label: love

ends at 09.33

Sabtu, 30 Oktober 2010Y

3months♥

i tried to write something romantic about our relationship.

but idk, i just dont have romantic words to say.
i just feel it.
maybe its true, that..
we can't define a true love :p
anyway,
happy 3 months babe! ♥

Label: love

ends at 20.44

Kamis, 02 September 2010Y

my romantic boyfriend

hey blogreaders..

im verryyy happyy todayy :D:D
ga tau sih lebay apa engga kalo happy buanget cuma gara2 dapet love letter dr benz hehehe.. anyway, beberapa hari yg lalu tgl 31 aku dapet love letter which i thought it was the first one. tapi on the bottom of the page ada symbol love letter #2 gitu. nah, aku ga ngerti mksde apaa, terus waktu aku tny diaa, katanya itu yg kedua. terus aku bingung, lho emang ada yg pertama? ehh jwbe malah: la km percaya ga lho? lho lak gueje too.. tp honestly i've been waiting for that beberapa hari ini HIHI. jd maluu.. and thenn.. tadi waktu aku pulang kuliah, mamaku ngasi surat dan TARAAA~!! dr pacarkuuu lol! kalo aku nulis isinya di sini, dee pasti ngamuk2 malu lah apa lah hahaha..
intinyaa, he misses me so much :p and i think we have the same feeling. pertama, i really thank God kalo bisa ketemu sama dia dan jadian. yaa ga tau sih org mau pikir apa, kok cepet lah, kok gini gitu, yg jalanin kan aku sama dia. i'm pretty sure kita juga ngeliat each other itu bukan karena cakep cantik keren apa lah, tapi bener2 we have the same vision, which is to glorify HIS Name. together we can grow in faith, we can be a blessing and we'll try to make Him proud. kedua, ga tau kenapa mau LDR yg aku biasanya bilang juga ga mungkin bisa susah la blablabla. nah! soal ini sampek sekarang ya ga bisa bilang. pacaran juga baru sebulan hehe.. tapi one thing i keep on believing, kalo emang jodoh dr Tuhan juga ga akan kemana2, ya kann hehehe..
hmm, i never imagine that he's such a romantic boyfriend :p he wrote me 2 love letters and i'm sure it'll not end on letter#2. hopefully i'll never stop receiving those thing :p
anyway, thankyou beb for coming to my life.
I LOVE YOU.
and i hope you're really THE ONE for me.

p.s for Benz: even less talk and sometimes we're too busy to just text, call or skype, even if we got tired of these, please don't stop believing that i love you, and i miss u... always.

Label: love

ends at 03.02

Senin, 02 Agustus 2010Y

it is

It's so good to know that you have someone who'll be willing to help you cope up in every frustrations you're having. Every depressing moments, every down moments, every self-worthless-realization moments, he'd be there, not because you want someone to be with you, but because he wants to be with you.

It's great to know when a person appreciates every little thing you do. Even a smile would mean a lot to him, just because you own that smile. And that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you'd be able to communicate, just like that.

It's overwhelming when a person tells you that he loves you for who you are. He may not have an answer when you ask him why, but really, he doesn't have to have reasons for loving you.

It's more grateful to know that someone is grateful to have you. We don't choose the people who enter our lives, so it must be luck that you have that person, then you have to be thankful. It may just be coincidence or fate, but whatever the reason is, you have to be thankful in having him the same way he is thankful for having you.

It's a wonderful feeling when you're on the verge of giving up the things you've worked hard for, someone isn't just helping you carry the weight on your shoulders, but he carries it on his own because he'd also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have him, not because he would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in him and his love.

It's a superb feeling when one is willing to take the risks just so you'll be happy. Unselfishness rule in him just so happiness would take over you.

It's a nice feeling that when you're apart, and days seem to be long, that person misses you. Yes, you might feel bad about not being with each other, but knowing that you feel the same way would drive those blues away, thinking, you'd fight over that feeling because you're looking forward to seeing each other, and that's something to be happy about.

It's a great feeling when he wants to be with you because of the happiness you have when you're together. That even if corny jokes and senseless stories are told, it won't matter as long as you're together.

It's a lovely feeling when someone thinks about your future, with or without him. He cares and he cares enough to think of you and what you'll be someday. But of course, he also wants to be in it someday.

It's a nice feeling when you can be who you really are with that person. No pretentions, no lies, no hypocrisy, because he accepts you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrased, but it won't matter coz it doesn't matter to him. Trust and faith in each other keeps you alive. And it will always do.

It's good to know that you have someone who'll not have the intentions of breaking your heart. Instead, he would be willing to mend it, picking up the broken pieces of your heart that your past love have scattered in the ground. He may not be able to put the pieces back to where they really belong, but you shouldn't mind, because he had repaired that heart of yours, and he fixed it in his own way. He loves you in his own way, not the way your past did. He fixed your heart in a different way, to keep you from feeling the pains of your past heartache and to make you feel, the love, that he's unselfishly giving.

It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts has paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.

... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.

taken from: http://renungan-harian-kita.blogspot.com

Label: love

ends at 11.02

Jumat, 30 Juli 2010Y

a birthday give from my daddy J

heyy all :)

i haven't updated this blog quite long and i really have a lot to say here. hmm, idk where to start but let me tell you something important.

i am now in a relationship! :D:D

too fast you think?

i think so.

i dont know i think this is not what we really decide exactly but its just happen like that. i'm not gonna write down the story here, becausee its quite private hehe.. the point is, we like each other since first time we met. and we really think that it is GOD who wants us to meet. so i'm not scared even we're miles apart.. i trust him, moreover, i trust GOD who has a beautiful plan for us. i dont know the beautiful plan is to make us together or not, but i do know,

He always gives us the best :)

thankyou GOD!

and please take care of BENZ sasongko for me ;)

Label: love

ends at 23.34

Senin, 03 Mei 2010Y

good bye my love

selain ultahnya mega, kemaren ada kejadian yg ga akan aku lupain seumur hidup. heheh.. aku putus (i mean beneran putus tus tus) sama org yg selama ini tak suaayaanng. ini udah yang ketiga kali sebenernya. alasan yang sama setiap kali, mamanya ga boleh dia pacaran sama aku. oh God ya pertama aku mikir lah emang aku ni bukan cewek baik2 apa ya.. i have so many good things inside - ya ga berniat nyombong juga lahh.. hehe tp narsis dikit gpp lah.. tp aku belajar buanyaaak banget selama 3 hari ini. ini beneran kisah yang aku alami dan terserah sih kalian mau mikir apa tapi bener2 i really feel that God lead me through this.. selama ini aku selalu tanya ke Tuhan, kenapa sih kok jalannya bener2 ga mulus between me and him.. selalu ada aja. aku mikir 2x, mungkin kan kalo kita harus struggle for love and then we got the victory ato mungkin juga ini warning dr Tuhan kalo he's not the one. aku bw doa semuanya selama berhari-hari, berminggu-minggu dan berbulan-bulan tapi aku sadar kalo selama ini doa ku sedikit memaksa. aku pengen sama dia intinya. tapi mulai 2 minggu yg lalu aku ngerubah itu semua dan aku serahin semuanya ke Tuhan terserah lah Tuhan mau gimana. dan finally i got the answer.. kemarin aku putus lagi dan aku yakin kalo ini jawaban dr doaku selama ini. kenapa aku bisa yakiinn..? hari sabtu n minggu aku seperti dapet tuntunan, dpt kekuatan, dpt apalah itu namanya pokoknya aku udah siap buat end this relationship. dan aku mikir aku mesti nunggu 2 bulan lg at least buat dpt jawaban dr semua ini, tapi ternyata rencana Tuhan beda. kemarin aku udah bisa mengakhiri hubungan ini. sedih memang, sakit hati iya, masih sayang iya, tapi aku tetep percaya kalo ini semua udah direncanain dan this is the best for us. Rencana Tuhan indah pada waktunya, ya memang.. mungkin kalo dulu2 aku putus aku ga bisa terima dan pada akhirnya aku jd deket lg soalnya aku sekelas sama dia selalu ngomong2 selalu cerita2, tapi kalo sekarang aku yakin aku bisaaa! yeahh..

for him,

thanks for everything that has happened between us..

i learn how to love, how to forgive and the most important one i now can learn how to let you go..

i'm not gonna forget you, i'll keep you in my heart because some memories just cant fade..

goodbye my love..

Label: love

ends at 22.06

Sabtu, 01 Mei 2010Y

my mommy

guyyyss, do you LOVE your MOMMY? i love my mommy sooo damn muuuuchhh! she's my bestest friend, she always listens to me, she's the best listener in this whole world. i can talk anything with her for so many hours. she's also a good shopping friend. she's going to be 50 this year but she looks like 35 (really, her friends told that). i'd love to hang out with her. i like sleeping with her at night because it means chat until death wakakka, no i mean sleep. as parents always do, sometimes she likes to ngomel gak jelas, but whatever she said she just never think about it - like if she hurting me with her words, she doesnt really meant it.

hmm, one day she told my secret to my brother and i got mad to her then i cried, i said i wouldnt tell her my secret again forever! and she cried, she said sorry to me and asked me to always share things i had with her.. and i agreed.

many times i got crashed with her but it doesn't change my feeling. i love her whatever she is and i will always love her.. I LOVE YOU MOMM!

Label: love

ends at 10.39